(Kanda softly nods, he doesn't know either. It was probably obvious from the dumb way he's staring at his hand. As if answers were going to start flashing between his fingers or across his palm. It didn't have to make sense to Kanda, did it?
For a moment he forgets what he's doing so he brings his eyes up to stare at Todoroki instead. He's lost in the bewilderment of it all, how could a world collect so many different people from so many different worlds or parallel universes, or even timelines on the same world? It was enough thought to encourage the overwhelming stupor he feels for being lost in the thick of it.
Wine.. right.
Kanda breaks the stare and lowers his attention to his task at hand: it's simple, it's manageable, it's far more kind than trying to draw any sense of their position here, their meaning of life here.
Once he fills a glass full he immediately brings it to his lips and drinks the room-temperature liquor. It goes down smoothly and sweetly. It's about as much as he can tolerate, anything sweeter would be too much.)
[And almost as quickly as it began, the tension in the air seems to pass. Even as it does he can feel the pressure of Kanda's eyes staring at him, and meets his gaze for a moment longer until they look away from each other soon after.
Yes, the wine. It slipped his mind as well.]
Thank you.
[Just as soon as his gets poured, Enji does the same. It warms him up on the way down. Adding fuel for the fire he could burn if he wanted to. But there's no need for flames here when he's safe at home and in good company. He thinks Kanda is better company that he could have hoped for. Even at home he had very few people he could trust this much.]
(He was curious to the moonlacing, but momentarily satisfied with the phenomenon he just experienced with it. Although, he couldn't help but wonder if most of it was in his head. If this whole warmth, sensation, and tingling response within his body was only just feeding a fiction of what to expect when touching another.
He knew better, however, this wasn't something he could will away because it was uncomfortable. It was more uncomfortable due to the fact that he felt as if he had no control over it, like he would eventually need to have skin on skin contact. For the longest time he only counted on himself, on his own power, on his own ability to heal and recover.
This world told him he needed others. He needed Todoroki - which wasn't too far off the mark, seeing as how he's come to depend on him so much already.
Kanda idled with the glass of wine, sipping every so often, while his thoughts came and went.)
[Even if they weren't discussing it at length, Enji can tell that they have similar feelings toward it. A thing that they're told is meant to help them heal and generate energy is the same thing giving power to those keeping them there. It's suspicious, he doesn't trust it, but it doesn't seem to feel as bad as he wishes it did.
Maybe refusing it was not going to be possible forever, and when that happened who would it be with What would the circumstances be like? Enji frowns and sips his drink as well. There were very few people here that he trusted enough to entertain that thought with, but Kanda was slowly inching his way up that short list.]
(Kanda agrees by taking another sip from his glass. He sets it down and softly hums for a noise of confirmation that he agreed. His eyes were mostly between his hand and Todoroki's. It was moments like this that he was left thinking about that he never really had to think about before.
His usual response to someone who brushed past him, touched him, put their hands on him was to move away from that contact - but he didn't really sit for long in thought about the transgression. Here, however, it was undeniably something on the forefront of his mind. It wasn't just touching, either, it was the encouragement of kissing, copulating, being so intimately physical with one another. As if something like that was easy to do - was it easy?
Kanda wasn't normal even in his culture by a long shot, an artificial human raised in a fish tank until he was nine years of age. He's only been on his feet for about a decade - and his time was pretty much all focused on the Black Order's agenda. He sat there for some time, lost in his thoughts, a common space Todoroki would have recognized Kanda to be in by now.)
[He's never sure what Kanda is thinking about when he becomes silent, but he doesn't mind it. Sometimes people needed time alone with their thoughts and feelings to figure things out. Maybe because he's doing the same thing.
He considers his options for realistically managing to survive in a place that requires such things, and at some point he will have to do some form of moonlacing, but hopefully it won't be forced on him. After a long slow breath he takes another drink from his glass and glances at his new room mate again. He still seems very deep in thought, so without prompting he takes the bottle to pour just a bit more wine into each glass. Just a bit more before bed seemed alright.]
I shouldn't keep you away from other things you have planned. Thank you for eating with me, we'll do it again. Often, I hope.
(Todoroki's words are more efficient in striking Kanda's attention than the added wine to his glass. He grounds himself in the here and now by reaching for the glass and concentrating on the feel of the smooth texture and cool atmosphere of the circumference that holds the wine. He looks to Todoroki and glances down to the other's lips as he repeats the older man's words.)
Yes.
(He brings his eyes up to the other's and looks between them before he settled his eyes on the red hair. His lips part just enough for a breath before he speaks again.)
I can prepare our next meal.
(He then finds himself wanting to warn the other:)
Though, it may be bland to your palate.. so.. if you would tell me the seasoning you prefer I can incorporate them in the preparation.
[Enji is pleased enough to hear that Kanda is not opposed to doing something like this again, but the offer to do the cooking next time comes as a bit of a surprise to him though he doesn't show it in his expression. Instead he looks down at the younger man's hands, then back up to his face that always seems to be framed perfectly by his dark hair.]
If you prepare it the way you like, I'll eat it as it is. You don't need to do anything special for me.
[Unless this is Kanda's way of pointing out that he's not much of a cook. In that case Enji will put on a convincing face and try to enjoy it anyway.] I don't usually cook, so I'm not sure I can give you very good help, but I will eat it and be grateful. [He offers, allowing himself to smile for just a moment at the thought.]
(The response to Kanda's willingness to offer such a gesture was encouraging enough to Kanda that he felt satisfied and even excited to prepare something for Todoroki. As if this was a whole new and exciting language he had only just learned with the other. Although, this idea really wasn't far from the truth. He didn't have traditional friends back home, he didn't have notions such as cooking for one another, doing something "nice" for one another, it was more like everyone had their role and those he was with either worked well with him or .. didn't. He was also accustomed to losing those around him without any notice, without any sign of old age before their departure.
Maybe this was foolish of him and doubt began to sour the previous warmth in his chest. He had no real idea when he would lose Todoroki here. To death, to another arrangement (living or.. perhaps for some reason they would go their separate ways) or .. Todoroki would return home.
Kanda kept these thoughts to himself and his eyes remained downcast to his wine and the food before him. It wasn't often Kanda had something he cherished stay with him for long term.)
[Enji's not sure at what point he'd gotten so comfortable with watching Kanda so closely. He's been able to see various changes in mood and expression depending on what he must be thinking about even without knowing at all what was on the younger man's mind. At some point he'd learned to spot moments where he's past the point of just deep thought and has gone somewhere that appears to be emotionally troubling.
So at the first signs of concern or worry on Kanda's face, Enji hopes he's not stepping out of line when he asks if there's something troubling him.]
What's on your mind? You seem sad. [He rests a hand on the younger man's shoulder, radiating warmth in case that might be comforting.]
(Kanda glances up to the other. His lips part before he draws in a breath and he closes them as his eyes focus on Todoroki's. He shakes his head gently. He can't quite recall what he was thinking of previous of Todoroki's comment. He does consider, however, that he always looks this way. Angry or sad. Mostly angry - or so he's been told. Kanda swallows and his eyes move across Todoroki's face.)
Everything is alright.
(The hand on his shoulder acts as a anchor and Kanda finds himself concentrating on the weight of the hand on him and how it feels as the warmth transcends beneath his clothing to his skin.)
[When Kanda says that, he takes his word for it. It doesn't mean he won't worry, but it does mean he'll try to appear less concerned. His hand moves up the younger man's shoulder a little distance to allow his thumb to brush over the skin at the side of Kanda's neck. Just below his jaw.
As soon as Enji realizes what he's doing he lifts his hand away to fall to his side again.]
I should get some sleep. So should you. Goodnight. [The words come out almost in a hurry so he can turn away to return to the safety of his room, but not before pauses to add:] Thank you again for you company tonight.
(Kanda can feel a heat rise from his stomach up to his face as Todoroki moves his fingers against his flesh. His lips part and a breath comes out between them with a quiver. He feels alarm as soon as Todoroki pulls back and he reciprocates a soft, "goodnight" before the other leaves.
Kanda stays seated for a moment as he considers the experience of touch on one another. The hand holding and the brush of Todoroki's fingers across his skin. Would it have felt different if he wasn't anticipating something pleasant already? Was it more of the moonlacing business or was it because Kanda wanted it to feel nice - or was that out of his control as well?
He continued to ponder on this as he cleans up the table, the kitchen, and puts the dishes away. He'll retreat in his room for the night as well and see what tomorrow brings.)
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no subject
Date: 2019-11-05 12:57 am (UTC)For a moment he forgets what he's doing so he brings his eyes up to stare at Todoroki instead. He's lost in the bewilderment of it all, how could a world collect so many different people from so many different worlds or parallel universes, or even timelines on the same world? It was enough thought to encourage the overwhelming stupor he feels for being lost in the thick of it.
Wine.. right.
Kanda breaks the stare and lowers his attention to his task at hand: it's simple, it's manageable, it's far more kind than trying to draw any sense of their position here, their meaning of life here.
Once he fills a glass full he immediately brings it to his lips and drinks the room-temperature liquor. It goes down smoothly and sweetly. It's about as much as he can tolerate, anything sweeter would be too much.)
no subject
Date: 2019-11-06 02:13 am (UTC)Yes, the wine. It slipped his mind as well.]
Thank you.
[Just as soon as his gets poured, Enji does the same. It warms him up on the way down. Adding fuel for the fire he could burn if he wanted to. But there's no need for flames here when he's safe at home and in good company. He thinks Kanda is better company that he could have hoped for. Even at home he had very few people he could trust this much.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-10 07:00 pm (UTC)He knew better, however, this wasn't something he could will away because it was uncomfortable. It was more uncomfortable due to the fact that he felt as if he had no control over it, like he would eventually need to have skin on skin contact. For the longest time he only counted on himself, on his own power, on his own ability to heal and recover.
This world told him he needed others. He needed Todoroki - which wasn't too far off the mark, seeing as how he's come to depend on him so much already.
Kanda idled with the glass of wine, sipping every so often, while his thoughts came and went.)
no subject
Date: 2019-11-16 01:29 am (UTC)Maybe refusing it was not going to be possible forever, and when that happened who would it be with What would the circumstances be like? Enji frowns and sips his drink as well. There were very few people here that he trusted enough to entertain that thought with, but Kanda was slowly inching his way up that short list.]
The wine isn't bad. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-23 09:04 pm (UTC)His usual response to someone who brushed past him, touched him, put their hands on him was to move away from that contact - but he didn't really sit for long in thought about the transgression. Here, however, it was undeniably something on the forefront of his mind. It wasn't just touching, either, it was the encouragement of kissing, copulating, being so intimately physical with one another. As if something like that was easy to do - was it easy?
Kanda wasn't normal even in his culture by a long shot, an artificial human raised in a fish tank until he was nine years of age. He's only been on his feet for about a decade - and his time was pretty much all focused on the Black Order's agenda. He sat there for some time, lost in his thoughts, a common space Todoroki would have recognized Kanda to be in by now.)
no subject
Date: 2019-11-24 04:38 am (UTC)He considers his options for realistically managing to survive in a place that requires such things, and at some point he will have to do some form of moonlacing, but hopefully it won't be forced on him. After a long slow breath he takes another drink from his glass and glances at his new room mate again. He still seems very deep in thought, so without prompting he takes the bottle to pour just a bit more wine into each glass. Just a bit more before bed seemed alright.]
I shouldn't keep you away from other things you have planned. Thank you for eating with me, we'll do it again. Often, I hope.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-24 05:27 am (UTC)Yes.
(He brings his eyes up to the other's and looks between them before he settled his eyes on the red hair. His lips part just enough for a breath before he speaks again.)
I can prepare our next meal.
(He then finds himself wanting to warn the other:)
Though, it may be bland to your palate.. so.. if you would tell me the seasoning you prefer I can incorporate them in the preparation.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-24 06:32 pm (UTC)If you prepare it the way you like, I'll eat it as it is. You don't need to do anything special for me.
[Unless this is Kanda's way of pointing out that he's not much of a cook. In that case Enji will put on a convincing face and try to enjoy it anyway.] I don't usually cook, so I'm not sure I can give you very good help, but I will eat it and be grateful. [He offers, allowing himself to smile for just a moment at the thought.]
I'll take care of the wine.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-25 05:01 am (UTC)Maybe this was foolish of him and doubt began to sour the previous warmth in his chest. He had no real idea when he would lose Todoroki here. To death, to another arrangement (living or.. perhaps for some reason they would go their separate ways) or .. Todoroki would return home.
Kanda kept these thoughts to himself and his eyes remained downcast to his wine and the food before him. It wasn't often Kanda had something he cherished stay with him for long term.)
no subject
Date: 2019-11-25 01:07 pm (UTC)So at the first signs of concern or worry on Kanda's face, Enji hopes he's not stepping out of line when he asks if there's something troubling him.]
What's on your mind? You seem sad. [He rests a hand on the younger man's shoulder, radiating warmth in case that might be comforting.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-29 08:09 am (UTC)Everything is alright.
(The hand on his shoulder acts as a anchor and Kanda finds himself concentrating on the weight of the hand on him and how it feels as the warmth transcends beneath his clothing to his skin.)
fin?
Date: 2019-12-01 10:04 am (UTC)As soon as Enji realizes what he's doing he lifts his hand away to fall to his side again.]
I should get some sleep. So should you. Goodnight. [The words come out almost in a hurry so he can turn away to return to the safety of his room, but not before pauses to add:] Thank you again for you company tonight.
Yes β₯
Date: 2019-12-01 11:52 am (UTC)Kanda stays seated for a moment as he considers the experience of touch on one another. The hand holding and the brush of Todoroki's fingers across his skin. Would it have felt different if he wasn't anticipating something pleasant already? Was it more of the moonlacing business or was it because Kanda wanted it to feel nice - or was that out of his control as well?
He continued to ponder on this as he cleans up the table, the kitchen, and puts the dishes away. He'll retreat in his room for the night as well and see what tomorrow brings.)