(Kanda inhales Enji, his body expands with the breath of his lover filling his chest and he holds the air for a moment. He tries to calm the disruption of balance within him that had erupted a hurricane of destruction within his mind, body, and soul some hours, days, months ago? This would have never happened in the first place if he didn't feel the way he did for the larger man. How could something like this happen?
He didn't wish for the heartache of being emotionally attached to someone, but he also didn't want to put himself in that fortress he was in the beginning. He enjoyed getting to know Enji, spending time with him, eating with him, being intimate.. sharing even just a part of himself with Enji made him feel appreciated in ways he never really felt before. Instead of what he could do as a fighter, as an exorcist, he was a man with interests, with personality, with a unique individualism that was only his. Those pieces of himself he enjoyed showing Enji, which ultimately began to call him out from that depth he kept himself in.
Kanda exhales and though he knows neither one of them can ever make a promise to be intertwined with one another for the rest of their lives, he still hopes that those pieces of him will remain with Enji for as long as the other resides here.)
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Date: 2020-01-20 12:34 pm (UTC)He didn't wish for the heartache of being emotionally attached to someone, but he also didn't want to put himself in that fortress he was in the beginning. He enjoyed getting to know Enji, spending time with him, eating with him, being intimate.. sharing even just a part of himself with Enji made him feel appreciated in ways he never really felt before. Instead of what he could do as a fighter, as an exorcist, he was a man with interests, with personality, with a unique individualism that was only his. Those pieces of himself he enjoyed showing Enji, which ultimately began to call him out from that depth he kept himself in.
Kanda exhales and though he knows neither one of them can ever make a promise to be intertwined with one another for the rest of their lives, he still hopes that those pieces of him will remain with Enji for as long as the other resides here.)